Online Gift Registries

While the bulk of wedding gift registries is still run through big box stores, department and specialty stores, there is a growing segment of that industry that is utilizing the reach and specificity of on line communications.  At one time considered somehow “tacky”, on line gift registries have come into their own and have proven to be a real advantage to couples and their guests.

It’s easy to build an online registry.  Your guests can shop from their homes (or phones), which is a huge convenience if they are out of town.  You can select the items you want in stores and then list them on your e- registry.  You can also list your registry on national sites like theKnot.com, weddingchannel.com if your chosen retailer has a partnership with those sites.

Once registered, you can log on to your site anytime to add, delete or change preferences.  You can also see what has already been purchased.  Some sites will include the information about who ordered what.  That will prove helpful when writing thank you notes.  Gift enclosure cards do not always remain attached to the box containing the gift.

There are also new sites that specialize in “non traditional” registry offerings.  While there is still discomfort around the concept of “registering for money”, some couples are utilizing these sites.  For couples who prefer to accumulate cash for a major purchase, there are depositagift.com and myregistry.com. For couples who may prefer a fund for the future, there is a website called weddingfuture.com that specializes in gift stocks and/or mutual funds.

Whichever method you choose for your gift registries, remember that under no circumstances should those sites be included anywhere in your invitations.  Depend on members of the wedding party and family to spread the word about your gift registry preferences.

Don’t forget that although gift registries now include non-traditional items, gifts for a lifetime are remembered most.

Wedding Costs

The answer –as much or as little as you can afford!  You can have a lavish event that tops $100,000 or you can say your vows and entertain your close friends and family for $1500.   It all depends.  If you are planning a wedding on a budget, we offer some dollar saving tips.

• Avoid a summer wedding.  About 70% of US weddings take place between May and October.  As couples compete for vendors and venues, prices rise – because they can.  Depending on where you live, getting married in the “off” season months can save you money on reception expenses, floral arrangements and photography services.

• Choose a day other than Saturday when most weddings take place.  Marrying mid week or Friday night can save rates on room rentals, food and music.

• Look closely at your guest list.  Pare it down to include only those persons who are really close and have meaning in your life.

•  Have your ceremony and reception in the same place.

• Choose an hour when a meal is not appropriate or necessary.  Morning weddings followed by a lovely brunch or a later afternoon ceremony followed by a cocktail reception are wonderful options.

• Use flowers that are in season and fill bouquets with more ribbon and fewer flowers.

• Rather than investing in large floral arrangements in the church and reception areas, consider using rental greenery.  It will fill spaces and create more warmth than large stylized arrangements can.

• A good wedding planner can save you time as well money; and most importantly help assure you of one perfect day.

Be honest about your budget and stick with it.  Look for ways to economize but know which items are the dearest to you.  Always remember that it is the marriage that is important – not the entertainment.  

Gifts to Remember

Selecting locations for the gift registries for one’s wedding is important and fun.  For your guest’s sake, it is wise to select at least three different resources.  Your purpose is to give guests a variety of options and price ranges when it comes time to select your gift.  To that end, experts recommend that you choose at a minimum, one “high-end” store, one moderate/lower priced retailer and perhaps one “non traditional” resource like a charity.  Idofoundation.org  is a good place to start as it can help you register for donations to a variety of charities.

As you peruse items for your gift choices, most consultants would remind you to expand your vision of gifts to include items beyond the “usual”.  Many couples end up realizing that they have the best equipped kitchen in town, but have no bedroom furnishings.  Seek input and advice from friends and family before you sit down together to develop your list of preferences.  Their ideas may help you to include items that would be helpful that you would never have considered.

REAL SIMPLE magazine asked brides to identify items for the “Things I Wished I’d Registered For” list they were compiling.  Here are some of the items that made the list.

•  Extra Wine Glasses

• Oven to table bake ware – one or two casseroles that can go to parties and events and look good.

• Fine China – too many couples are selecting only something practical to use now.  Brides miss having some fine china to use for special occasions and to “pass on”.

• Bar B Q Grill

• Art pieces for home décor (consider including an art gallery in your list of registry locations)

• A cordless drill

• Decorative pillows and throws for the living room – a quick and effective way to add dash

• Christmas decorations – something special and classic that the couple could bring out each year

• Outdoor gear and equipment like Coleman stoves, backyard hammocks or lawn chairs.

Non-Traditional Wedding Site Ideas

When a bride asks about ideas for a non-traditional wedding site, before we offer suggestions, we ask how flexible she is.  Planning a wedding at an outdoor site requires arranging two sites.  One is the prime location and the other is the alternate.  The weather has been known to ruin many original plans.  Don’t let that discourage you from having the wedding you want, but do have backup plans in place.

An outdoor site can be a perfect spot for those of different religious faiths.  It is a perfect choice for couples who love the outdoors or have families with extensive gardens or grounds.   Often outdoor sites are less expensive than closed venues.

The intimate setting of a chapel, beach, park or backyard offers the freedom to add personal touches to the ceremony.  The location choice will set the theme for your wedding celebration and once selected make many subsequent choices easier.  Canopies, tents and gazebos may be rented and needed.

Once you have secured plan A and plan b, other plans and decisions will flow more easily.   Decorations, food, refreshments, entertainment and guest list will all be governed by the location decisions you have made. It is good to have another viewpoint and advice on the unusual celebration you have in mind.

Don't Be A Bridezilla!

We all realize that the bride and groom are the focal points of this very special day.  The wedding and its celebration are milestones in individual lives and family memories.  It is a significant social and personal event that deserves the attention given it.

But what many of us have learned is that the weddings that are most remembered are those which consider the family and friends who will be joining the couple in celebrating the event.

Here are some ways brides and grooms can focus on guests and family.

• Remember to treat attendants like the friends they are – not servants.  They are expending time and treasure to celebrate with you.  Certainly they are there to support your wishes, but not to grant your every whim.  Consideration and gratitude are welcome gifts to wedding party participants.

• When you are developing your gift registries, remember to include items for all price ranges.  Friends and family members want to give you as nice a gift as they can.  Spend some time making thoughtful choices.

• Select reception food that most guests will enjoy.  If you are planning an ethnic specialty, be sure to include an alternative.  Not every guest will welcome unfamiliar food.

• If music is to be played during cocktails and/or dinner, make sure it is background music soft enough so that people can hear themselves and others talk.

• If you are having a wedding dance, make sure that the band plays some “golden oldies” so that parents and/or grandparents and their friends can dance too.

• Don’t micro manage everything.  Once plans are in place let vendors you’ve hired do what you hired them to do.

·        For everyone’s sake, try to limit the time delay between the end of the ceremony and the start of the reception to one hour or less.  If it must be longer, arrange something for the guests to do while they are awaiting your arrival.  No one wants to go home and come back again. Remember that this is one of the biggest parties you and your family will ever give.

Centerpiece Inspiration

Seen at current weddings – a wide variety of centerpiece options which complement the theme of the wedding and/or reflect the couple’s search for “something unique”!

For fans of traditional floral arrangements, there is the assurance that given the right color combo and size, guests will feel right at home with the idea of flowers on the table that complete the look of elegant special occasions.  Flowers work beautifully as long as the arrangements are either low enough (under 12-14 inches) or high enough (at least 30 inches) so that guests can converse across the table – or at least see each other.  Formal arrangements in glass or silver containers send one message, while daisies or sunflowers in canning jars send another.

With the changing view of wedding cakes, many brides are opting to make desert the centerpiece of guest tables.  Cupcake trees, lollipop cakes, cookie and dessert bar assortments and miniature versions of the bridal cake make perfect centerpiece options.

Guest favors artfully arranged on clear plastic or glass trays work well when accompanied by thank you notes from the bride and groom.

Candles of varying height and shape arranged on mirrors make a wonderful centerpiece for each table and their accumulated impact is wonderful.  However, be sure to check the reception hall’s heating/cooling system.  If a lot of air is going to be blowing over the tables, your candles won’t last long.  If your reception is in a tented area, think about LED tapers that look almost real.

Some brides have made the wine being served with dinner an integral part of the centerpiece.  With some greenery and/or wrapped cheese miniatures the different bottles make an intriguing focal point.

Collect a variety of glass serving pieces and fill them with beverages (or water) the theme color of the wedding.

Photos of the bride and groom as children framed and grouped in the center of the table, work well as centerpieces and conversation starters.

Ceremony Time!

He asked you to marry him and you said yes!  Congratulations!  If you know that you will be married in a church ceremony, as soon as you have shared the good news with close family members, it is time to think about when and where you will be married.

Once you have determined when, lock in the ceremony site and the reception venue.  Then other plans can fall into place.  As soon as possible, meet with the officiant and/or his/her representative to determine the “rules” guiding ceremonies in that church or synagogue.  With that information in hand, you can begin to formulate your own personal touches with the goal of creating a beautiful setting that helps to establish the mood for your ceremony to come.

As guests arrive, the setting – candles, lights, flowers and music can create a lovely atmosphere.

Instruct ushers to make friendly small talk with guests as they arrive and as they are escorted to their seats.  

 This is truly welcoming and helps guests to feel at ease.  If yours is a small wedding, ushers can present a single flower to female guests along with a note from you welcoming them to the wedding.  A welcome flower can also be presented along with the programs.

Consider having ceremony hosts welcome guests at the entrance doors.  Choose one from each family – someone who is likely to recognize the majority of the guests as they arrive.  Your parents may be mingling with guests at this point or may be needed with the wedding party.

If you have music playing as guests arrive and are seated, be sure someone is ready to cue the music to change tempo or volume or both so that special music plays as the parents of the bride and groom are seated.  More and more couples are choosing to have a card or note from them along with a single flower or small wrapped gift waiting in the pew for parents as they are seated.

Consider having the music change again as the groom and his best man take their places.  Then as the processional begins, the music should change again for the bridesmaids and flower girls.

The bride should make an entrance cued by more dramatic “announcement” music.  If the church or facility can manage it, consider dimming the house lights and turn on pre placed lighting aimed at the aisle just before the bride begins her walk to the altar.

Above all remember that the ceremony is the cornerstone of the day and the reason the guests have gathered.  The reception celebrates what has happened in that church.