Saturday, September 29, 2012

The role of the wedding planner

If the bride and her family would like a stress free wedding, the best solution is to hire a wedding planner.  If the wedding is to be at an out of town/destination wedding, then dependence on a planner at the venue to which the wedding party will be traveling is a must.  If the bride and groom are planning a small intimate wedding and reception but the couple both have jobs that demand huge time commitments, a wedding planner can take the couple’s wishes and instructions and produce exactly the event they envision.


The term planner can cover a wide range of services.  In general the term refers to services provided by an individual, selected by the bride or her mother, to assist with some or all of the details involved in the planning and implementing of an error-free, stress free rehearsal, ceremony and reception.   A plus feature in hiring a wedding planner or coordinator is that the bride can decide the level of service she desires and pay only for those services.

Brides-to-be should determine the credentials of the planner they are considering.  They should check the training/certification that the planner has earned.  They should ask for references from two or three brides the planner has served and decide on the level of involvement they will require.  Maybe an initial consultation to help identify choices and set preliminary plans and schedules is enough for one couple.  Others may want a comprehensive package, which covers time and advice on all aspects of the wedding plus vendor and site negotiations.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Tips for the bride on a budget!

The results from THE KNOT’S 2011 BRIDAL FASHION STUDY indicate that for the majority of the 9,690 brides interviewed in the survey, the tough economic times “have not stopped brides from buying their dream dress.”  (VOWS, January/February 2012)  Brides seem willing to cut back in other areas in order to buy the gown they want.  


What are some of the ways brides can save?

They need to prioritize.  Figure out what matters most and allocate budgets accordingly.  These items should arise out of honest conversations between the bride and groom and their families.  Such discussions can make sure that what matters most is funded.

Budgets need to be set.  Couples must figure out how much they can pay for individual items like flowers or receptions or photography and then communicate that to the vendors involved.  It works better if a dollar amount is mentioned rather than a price range.

Consider your own resources.  Do you have unused frequent flyer miles that could cover honeymoon travel?   How about an uncle who collects classic cars? Could he provide a unique and elegant ride between the church and reception for the bride and groom?  Do you know someone who “knows someone” who could get you a good price on quality champagne?

Step outside the usual.  Rather than insisting on a Saturday night wedding, could you move to a Sunday?  It has always been an option but few brides used it.  Every time you choose times, places or options that few others are choosing, you’ll save money in various ways.

Rethink what your wedding means.  It is a special celebration for family and friends, not the way to pay back everyone who has ever invited you or your family to a party.  If you are thinking that your wedding is a way to impress people, think again.  Have it your way and keep it personal.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Music to celebrate

Selecting the music for a wedding ceremony and reception is an important consideration.  Music should frame the ceremony – not dominate it.  Picking the music should be considered an important aspect of the planning process.

  • Make an early meeting with the officiator a must.  Churches tend to have constraints imposed on the kind of music allowed.  It is good to have that information early in the planning process.
  • Some churches limit the options by presenting the bride a list of music from which she must choose.  Others may opt to screen her choices.
  • If the bride wants a certain music that is important to her and/or the groom, and the church organist can’t/won’t play it, she has the option of diplomatically asking if she can bring in her own musicians.  More and more brides are requesting instruments other than the organ.  Some brides want to be lead up or down the aisle by bagpipes.  Others prefer the sounds of a string quartet.  Allowing sufficient lead-time to clarify any issues around music is a smart move.
  • Brides must remember that music needs to be selected for the prelude, the processional, the ceremony and for the reception.  Musicians need to be chosen and booked early in the process.
  • Many budget conscious brides are opting to use MP3 players or other electronic media for reception music – either during the cocktail hour or as background music during dinner.
  •  The bride should spend time researching her music.  Screen pieces, listen to tapes, CDs, and take advice from musicians you know.  Audition any musicians before hiring them.  Check references. Volumes of advice and suggestions are available online.  Think about your own personal preferences and music that matters to you both as a couple as you assemble your “must play list”.
Many couples are creating a CD of their favorite music and making it available as a thank you gift to their guests.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Wedding etiquette on a budget

Quiet elegance is always in style.  


Consider a few white lilies for the bridal bouquet instead of an elaborate arrangement.

A garden luncheon can be as charming as a 5 course sit down dinner.

Select fewer attendants.  The larger the wedding and number of attendants, the greater the expense.

But no matter how limited the budget, the rules of etiquette still apply.  

Having a reception which serves only punch and cake is acceptable.  Asking guests to buy their own dinners is not.

Having an alcohol free reception is fine.  Having a cash bar isn’t.

Registering for things the couple would like and need is fine.  Asking for money instead of gifts isn’t.

Sending email invitations instead of printed or handwritten ones for a small intimate wedding isn’t OK.

Neglecting to send thank you notes within an acceptable time frame is not appropriate.

Every part of a wedding, even one done on a very limited budget, should be done with style and good taste.  An affordable wedding can be just as memorable as a lavish one.  Guests will remember the beautiful personal touches, not how much was spent on the wedding.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Attention: New Bridal Trends!

This season’s bridal gowns are reflecting new looks that one fashion writer termed “More Kate and less Kim”.  Many gowns are reflecting more traditional looks and a bit of classic charm.


Gowns are showing more coverage.  Not necessarily Kate Middleton’s long sleeves, but cap sleeves are being shown along with illusion necklines for those brides who want more coverage than strapless gowns provide.

Longer veils are back in vogue after being absent for a period.  In a survey of brides 75% reported they plan to wear a veil with preferences for floor length or longer.

Many brides are selecting plainer gowns with less “bling” and focusing on fabulous accessories like jewelry and expensive shoes.  More and more brides are choosing colored shoes with blue a popular choice.
Some brides are including “costume changes” in their selection of the wedding gown.  One gown is chosen for the formal ceremony and either adaptations are made in that gown for the reception and dance or a second and more informal gown is worn for the reception.

We are also seeing bridesmaids in white thanks to Pippa.  All white weddings have been appearing in areas, but more brides are choosing the mono theme for spring and summer.

Brides continue to create a personalized wedding with signature color (s), monogrammed items, and motifs to set and reinforce the theme of the event.

What is your view of your ideal wedding gown?

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Contemporary vs. Traditional Weddings

Do those two terms seem contradictory?  At one time they may have, but more and more couples are looking for ways to place their personal stamp on their wedding plans.  The term “unique” is heard more and more as brides search for ways to make their weddings memorable for them and their guests.

  • Consider replacing the traditional bachelor or bachelorette party with a get together that combines both events.  Consider a hike, beach party, bike ride, cook-out, softball game or evening out at a skating rink or bowling alley.
  • Rather than hold the rehearsal dinner at a typical restaurant’s party room, book an art museum, a university facility, a park or a historical building to serve as a special setting for your event.
  • Supplement your florist’s handiwork and create reception decor with native wild flowers, leaves, twigs, fruits and herbs from a local grower or farmer’s market.
  • Some brides have decided to let their bridesmaids select their own gowns based on a color scheme and degree of formality.  This works well when you admire their taste in clothes.  It is wise to set some guidelines – degree of coverage desired, tailored or fluffy, plain or elaborate, length etc.  But within those parameters, maids can choose their own wearable outfits.  Many bridal salons have several designers who can work to truly individualize a bridesmaid’s gown within the “look” of the wedding.
  • If you have a unique reception venue chosen, consider hiring a local chef you admire or a culinary school to put a special spin on your reception menu.  Think about including family food traditions that may be important to both the bride and groom.  If you can’t afford a sit down dinner, there is nothing wrong with having a desert reception or a small plate limited cocktail reception and wedding cake.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Gift Registry Ideas

As brides and grooms confer on what and where to register for wedding gifts, here are some items to be included on the registry that are frequently overlooked but are really necessary for a new home startup.

  • Cleaning supplies – Don’t be afraid to put a nice vacuum on your gift list.  This is the time to find a model that is easy to use and is durable.  If you have a home with stairs – either a split level or multi story model, consider the value of a vacuum on each floor.  If you already have a terrific model, add a hand held/portable vac for your kitchen area.  There is nothing better for picking up crumbs and the inevitable dry spills.
  • Iron – while you may still take shirts and professional clothing to a cleaner, there is always a place for a good steam iron in every household.  Put a good ironing board on the list at the same time. 
  • China – always register for more china pieces than you think you’ll need or want.  IF you think the perfect size dinner party is 6, order enough for 8.  Likewise, if 8 is your ideal size, order 10 place settings.  Pieces break over time.
  • Kitchen – select and place on your list a set of really good kitchen knives.  One good set will last for years and make slicing and dicing a pleasure.
  • Entertainment items – Unless you have every electronic device you think you need, take another look at your camera.  Not every photograph needs to be taken by your phone.  What about a DVD or portable TV?
  • Gift Cards – more and more vendors are making room for those on gift registries.  These are a nice way to fill in  items you need or want that you did not think of when completing your registry.
You may wish to include some “off Registry” items for your guests’ consideration .Use your wedding website to let guests know that you’d like donations made in your name to your favorite charity.  This lovely way to celebrate your new life together spreads the joy and makes many people happy.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Questions you should ask your wedding planner

Should you hire a wedding planner or are you preparing to do it all yourself?  Most busy working brides today need the help of a professional planner – for all or part of their weddings.  A professional wedding planner’s advice and expertise can save time, money and sanity so don’t dismiss the idea out of hand. 

When you meet with a wedding planner to talk about how much or how little you need him/her to do for your wedding, here are six key questions you should ask to guide that informational meeting.

1. Here are the vendors and venues I am considering using.  Do you know anything about them?  Who are your favorites and why?
The planner can often give you some good feedback about a particular vendor and/or steer you away from potential trouble.

 2.  How many weddings of my size have you done?
If you are planning on a small intimate gathering and the planner specializes in huge society weddings, you two may not be a good match.

3.  If I hire you for my wedding, what is your role and what is mine?
It is a good idea to have clarity around who is responsible for what and in a tight situation, who has the final say?  Do need to have the planner clear every little detail with you or can he/she make decisions based on early parameters you two have established?

4.  How many weddings do you do each month?  Do you have enough staff to cover all weddings you book?  You don’t want to be one of a multitude in June if the planner doesn’t have the staff to handle all of its commitments.

5.  Ask for a client and vendor list and ask if you may call them for references.

6.   Ask for an explanation of how he/she charges.  Is there a flat rate, a sliding scale, extra charges for add ons?

7.   Do you belong to any professional organizations? Associations such as Weddings Beautiful Worldwide have helped increased the value, and raise the professional standards of wedding planners everywhere.

The goal of all good wedding planners is to save you time and money . . . and most importantly for you to enjoy one perfect day!

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Online Gift Registries

While the bulk of wedding gift registries is still run through big box stores, department and specialty stores, there is a growing segment of that industry that is utilizing the reach and specificity of on line communications.  At one time considered somehow “tacky”, on line gift registries have come into their own and have proven to be a real advantage to couples and their guests.


It’s easy to build an online registry.  Your guests can shop from their homes (or phones), which is a huge convenience if they are out of town.  You can select the items you want in stores and then list them on your e- registry.  You can also list your registry on national sites like theKnot.com, weddingchannel.com if your chosen retailer has a partnership with those sites.

Once registered, you can log on to your site anytime to add, delete or change preferences.  You can also see what has already been purchased.  Some sites will include the information about who ordered what.  That will prove helpful when writing thank you notes.  Gift enclosure cards do not always remain attached to the box containing the gift.

There are also new sites that specialize in “non traditional” registry offerings.  While there is still discomfort around the concept of “registering for money”, some couples are utilizing these sites.  For couples who prefer to accumulate cash for a major purchase, there are depositagift.com and myregistry.com. For couples who may prefer a fund for the future, there is a website called weddingfuture.com that specializes in gift stocks and/or mutual funds.

Whichever method you choose for your gift registries, remember that under no circumstances should those sites be included anywhere in your invitations.  Depend on members of the wedding party and family to spread the word about your gift registry preferences.

Don’t forget that although gift registries now include non-traditional items, gifts for a lifetime are remembered most.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Wedding Costs

The answer –as much or as little as you can afford!  You can have a lavish event that tops $100,000 or you can say your vows and entertain your close friends and family for $1500.   It all depends.  If you are planning a wedding on a budget, we offer some dollar saving tips.

  • Avoid a summer wedding.  About 70% of US weddings take place between May and October.  As couples compete for vendors and venues, prices rise – because they can.  Depending on where you live, getting married in the “off” season months can save you money on reception expenses, floral arrangements and photography services.
  • Choose a day other than Saturday when most weddings take place.  Marrying mid week or Friday night can save rates on room rentals, food and music.
  • Look closely at your guest list.  Pare it down to include only those persons who are really close and have meaning in your life.
  •  Have your ceremony and reception in the same place.
  • Choose an hour when a meal is not appropriate or necessary.  Morning weddings followed by a lovely brunch or a later afternoon ceremony followed by a cocktail reception are wonderful options.
  • Use flowers that are in season and fill bouquets with more ribbon and fewer flowers.
  • Rather than investing in large floral arrangements in the church and reception areas, consider using rental greenery.  It will fill spaces and create more warmth than large stylized arrangements can.
  • A good wedding planner can save you time as well money; and most importantly help assure you of one perfect day.
Be honest about your budget and stick with it.  Look for ways to economize but know which items are the dearest to you.  Always remember that it is the marriage that is important – not the entertainment.  

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Gifts to Remember



Selecting locations for the gift registries for one’s wedding is important and fun.  For your guest’s sake, it is wise to select at least three different resources.  Your purpose is to give guests a variety of options and price ranges when it comes time to select your gift.  To that end, experts recommend that you choose at a minimum, one “high-end” store, one moderate/lower priced retailer and perhaps one “non traditional” resource like a charity.  Idofoundation.org  is a good place to start as it can help you register for donations to a variety of charities.

As you peruse items for your gift choices, most consultants would remind you to expand your vision of gifts to include items beyond the “usual”.  Many couples end up realizing that they have the best equipped kitchen in town, but have no bedroom furnishings.  Seek input and advice from friends and family before you sit down together to develop your list of preferences.  Their ideas may help you to include items that would be helpful that you would never have considered.

REAL SIMPLE magazine asked brides to identify items for the “Things I Wished I’d Registered For” list they were compiling.  Here are some of the items that made the list.
  •  Extra Wine Glasses
  • Oven to table bake ware – one or two casseroles that can go to parties and events and look good.
  • Fine China – too many couples are selecting only something practical to use now.  Brides miss having some fine china to use for special occasions and to “pass on”.
  • Bar B Q Grill
  • Art pieces for home décor (consider including an art gallery in your list of registry locations)
  • A cordless drill
  • Decorative pillows and throws for the living room – a quick and effective way to add dash
  • Christmas decorations – something special and classic that the couple could bring out each year
  • Outdoor gear and equipment like Coleman stoves, backyard hammocks or lawn chairs.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Non-Traditional Wedding Site Ideas

When a bride asks about ideas for a non-traditional wedding site, before we offer suggestions, we ask how flexible she is.  Planning a wedding at an outdoor site requires arranging two sites.  One is the prime location and the other is the alternate.  The weather has been known to ruin many original plans.  Don’t let that discourage you from having the wedding you want, but do have backup plans in place.


An outdoor site can be a perfect spot for those of different religious faiths.  It is a perfect choice for couples who love the outdoors or have families with extensive gardens or grounds.   Often outdoor sites are less expensive than closed venues.

The intimate setting of a chapel, beach, park or backyard offers the freedom to add personal touches to the ceremony.  The location choice will set the theme for your wedding celebration and once selected make many subsequent choices easier.  Canopies, tents and gazebos may be rented and needed.

Once you have secured plan A and plan b, other plans and decisions will flow more easily.   Decorations, food, refreshments, entertainment and guest list will all be governed by the location decisions you have made. It is good to have another viewpoint and advice on the unusual celebration you have in mind.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Don't Be A Bridezilla!



We all realize that the bride and groom are the focal points of this very special day.  The wedding and its celebration are milestones in individual lives and family memories.  It is a significant social and personal event that deserves the attention given it.

But what many of us have learned is that the weddings that are most remembered are those which consider the family and friends who will be joining the couple in celebrating the event.

Here are some ways brides and grooms can focus on guests and family.
  • Remember to treat attendants like the friends they are – not servants.  They are expending time and treasure to celebrate with you.  Certainly they are there to support your wishes, but not to grant your every whim.  Consideration and gratitude are welcome gifts to wedding party participants.
  • When you are developing your gift registries, remember to include items for all price ranges.  Friends and family members want to give you as nice a gift as they can.  Spend some time making thoughtful choices.
  • Select reception food that most guests will enjoy.  If you are planning an ethnic specialty, be sure to include an alternative.  Not every guest will welcome unfamiliar food.
  • If music is to be played during cocktails and/or dinner, make sure it is background music soft enough so that people can hear themselves and others talk.
  • If you are having a wedding dance, make sure that the band plays some “golden oldies” so that parents and/or grandparents and their friends can dance too.
  • Don’t micro manage everything.  Once plans are in place let vendors you’ve hired do what you hired them to do.
·        For everyone’s sake, try to limit the time delay between the end of the ceremony and the start of the reception to one hour or less.  If it must be longer, arrange something for the guests to do while they are awaiting your arrival.  No one wants to go home and come back again. Remember that this is one of the biggest parties you and your family will ever give.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Centerpiece Inspiration



Seen at current weddings – a wide variety of centerpiece options which complement the theme of the wedding and/or reflect the couple’s search for “something unique”!

For fans of traditional floral arrangements, there is the assurance that given the right color combo and size, guests will feel right at home with the idea of flowers on the table that complete the look of elegant special occasions.  Flowers work beautifully as long as the arrangements are either low enough (under 12-14 inches) or high enough (at least 30 inches) so that guests can converse across the table – or at least see each other.  Formal arrangements in glass or silver containers send one message, while daisies or sunflowers in canning jars send another.

With the changing view of wedding cakes, many brides are opting to make desert the centerpiece of guest tables.  Cupcake trees, lollipop cakes, cookie and dessert bar assortments and miniature versions of the bridal cake make perfect centerpiece options.

Guest favors artfully arranged on clear plastic or glass trays work well when accompanied by thank you notes from the bride and groom.

Candles of varying height and shape arranged on mirrors make a wonderful centerpiece for each table and their accumulated impact is wonderful.  However, be sure to check the reception hall’s heating/cooling system.  If a lot of air is going to be blowing over the tables, your candles won’t last long.  If your reception is in a tented area, think about LED tapers that look almost real.

Some brides have made the wine being served with dinner an integral part of the centerpiece.  With some greenery and/or wrapped cheese miniatures the different bottles make an intriguing focal point.
Collect a variety of glass serving pieces and fill them with beverages (or water) the theme color of the wedding.

Photos of the bride and groom as children framed and grouped in the center of the table, work well as centerpieces and conversation starters.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Ceremony Time!



He asked you to marry him and you said yes!  Congratulations!  If you know that you will be married in a church ceremony, as soon as you have shared the good news with close family members, it is time to think about when and where you will be married.

Once you have determined when, lock in the ceremony site and the reception venue.  Then other plans can fall into place.  As soon as possible, meet with the officiant and/or his/her representative to determine the “rules” guiding ceremonies in that church or synagogue.  With that information in hand, you can begin to formulate your own personal touches with the goal of creating a beautiful setting that helps to establish the mood for your ceremony to come.

As guests arrive, the setting – candles, lights, flowers and music can create a lovely atmosphere.

Instruct ushers to make friendly small talk with guests as they arrive and as they are escorted to their seats.  
 This is truly welcoming and helps guests to feel at ease.  If yours is a small wedding, ushers can present a single flower to female guests along with a note from you welcoming them to the wedding.  A welcome flower can also be presented along with the programs.

Consider having ceremony hosts welcome guests at the entrance doors.  Choose one from each family – someone who is likely to recognize the majority of the guests as they arrive.  Your parents may be mingling with guests at this point or may be needed with the wedding party.

If you have music playing as guests arrive and are seated, be sure someone is ready to cue the music to change tempo or volume or both so that special music plays as the parents of the bride and groom are seated.  More and more couples are choosing to have a card or note from them along with a single flower or small wrapped gift waiting in the pew for parents as they are seated.

Consider having the music change again as the groom and his best man take their places.  Then as the processional begins, the music should change again for the bridesmaids and flower girls.

The bride should make an entrance cued by more dramatic “announcement” music.  If the church or facility can manage it, consider dimming the house lights and turn on pre placed lighting aimed at the aisle just before the bride begins her walk to the altar.

Above all remember that the ceremony is the cornerstone of the day and the reason the guests have gathered.  The reception celebrates what has happened in that church.